Sun cream

Washing hair is bad enough,
But when the sun comes out,
There’s torture even worse than that,
To scream and shout about,
The dreaded sun cream, steel yourself,
The battle has begun,
Sprays are best, just fire at will,
Two minutes and it’s done,
The face is slightly trickier,
You try to take great care,
But after all the wriggling,
It’s mostly in their hair,
And just when you are finished,
Even ears and neck are done,
You pile into the garden,
And there isn’t any sun . . .

The Party

Mummy, when’s my birthday?
For my party there will be:
A fire engine, a real one,
And the driver will be me,
Or maybe there’ll be pirates,
With a pirate ship and gun,
Or a giant bouncy castle,
Maybe swimming would be fun,
The cake will be a spider,
No, a knight one like a fort,
Or maybe it’s a car one,
Or a digger of some sort,
We’ll all eat chocolate ice cream,
Crisps and biscuits for the tea,
Get party bags with loads of things,
And there’ll be one for me.
Mummy, when’s my birthday?
Should it be a Batman one?
How long’s four months Mummy?
Isn’t planning birthdays fun.

Easter eggs

Thank you Easter bunny,
For the gift you’ve given me,
Along with all that chocolate,
Comes unspoken bribery,
Vegetables are eaten,
Toys are always put away,
Just the thought of chocolate,
Keeps rebellion at bay.

Supermarket sleep

You know it’s nearly nap time,
But you’ve dared to roll the dice,
You need to go to Sainsbury’s,
Maybe next time you’ll think twice,
It only takes five minutes,
It’s a supermarket sweep,
But you realise as you’re paying,
Someone’s fallen fast asleep,
It’s only been two minutes,
But you know that that’s your lot,
One supermarket power nap,
No sleeping in the cot.

The ice cream van

If you’ve heard the cheerful jingle,
Then you know that they have too,
You both know that it’s coming,
There are two things you can do,
Tell them they can’t have one,
Put your fingers in your ears,
Accept that you’re a monster,
As you wipe away the tears,
Or join the queue of parents,
Who, for peace and quiet’s sake,
Are sacrificing tea time,
For a 99 with flake.

Rainy days

It’s raining, it’s pouring,
Everything is boring,
It’s hours till bed,
Got a pounding head,
Here’s hoping for sun in the morning.

Baby wipes

Don’t ask me what’s in them,
But there’s nothing they can’t do,
They’re meant for wiping bottoms,
But they don’t just work on poo,
Red wine on the carpet?
Spilled your coffee on the chair?
Scrub it with a baby wipe,
You’d never know it’s there,
Food stains after mealtimes,
Dirty smudges on the wall,
Chocolate ice cream dribbles,
Baby wipes will get them all.