You can wipe it, you can blow it, you can wipe it once again,
But snot just keeps on coming,
It’s a stream you’ll never stem,
Arm yourself with tissues – buy hundreds just in case,
Because it’s not just in the nostrils, it ends up all around the face,
You can track it down your t shirt,
It leaves trails across your hands,
You’ll find it on the cushions,
Stretched round hair like rubber bands,
Sometimes it’s just a drip, drip, drip,
Sometimes it runs and runs,
You can sniff it, you can catch it,
But there’s plenty more to come,
Call the army, call the cops, call anyone you’ve got,
You’ll need them all to help you,
If you want to stop the snot.


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